February 2012
thatartyholmesian:
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What happens when my mother comes home from...
Mom: Alexandra, I need to tell you something.
Me: What's up?
Mom: I'm pansexual.
Me: What. Mom. What?
Mom: I'm in love with pans. I truly love pans more than I will ever love any other man.
Me: Wow. Way to be punny.
Mom: I thought it was funny.
Miley Cyrus - 7 things
Audience Member: Will you marry me?
Sara: ....
Audience Member: So was that a yes or no?
Sara: No, I won't marry you.
Tegan: She's an ice queen; you don't want her anyway.
Sara: It's nothing against you, personally
Tegan: She doesn't want to move to England.
Sara: I just don't want to get into that whole, you know, I have to get you papers and then you're always at my house and I'm like, 'why are you here again?' and then, you know, that kind of shit.
*Audience member asks Tegan to marry her*
Tegan: Thanks for asking. That's very nice.
Sara: Apparently Tegan is really into this person, so perhaps they want to get married.
Audience Member: Tegan will you marry me?
Tegan: Sure.
Sara: God, you're like fucking captain kangaroo over there.
Tegan: No, I just think it's good for our balance. You know, you're dark, I'm light. You're bad, I'm good. You say no, I say yes. You're mean, I'm nice.
Sara: I have standards, you're a slut.
*Johnny comes to high five Sara*
Tegan: Well I'm still nice!
Sara: And a slut.
